This is a letter to Him...
Hmmm... Sorry... Please skip this if you dont wanna read, i dont wanna spoil your mood.....
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Hmmm... Honey,
maybe you were wondering why i came up with that decision...
of really giving up on you..
really wanna stop this thingy from dragging over another year...
really wanna put a full stop in my foolish love for you.
ive been thinking for so long...
what kind of relationship or status are we having, my dear?
we arent bro n sis, nor purely frens.
but yet, im not your gal...
then what am i to wait for you for the whole 2 yrs....?
2yrs is really a very long period of time.. i miss you, yet i cant disturb you.. cox i am of no position to call you up, chat with you... just becox im missing you...
cox im not your gal, honey.
i cant possibly throw Tantrum when i want you by my side or something...
there's something ive been really dissappointed with ya...
you and your empty promises made me believe in you for anything...
<<"wait for me till i finish ns, sugar">>
just a simple text msg, you sent, changed my life entirely...
maybe it was nothing to you...
but honey,
that msg made me waited foolishly for you to notice me...
i was just hoping that if one day,
you feel lonely, you need a company, you want someone beside you,
and yet, your gal is not around, your buddies are busy,
you might notice there's always a silly gal,
still standing at the very same spot, where you left her alone,
waiting for you...
and yet, that gal waited...
she thought you would keep to your promises...
she thought you really meant it...
she naively believed....
but yet, only till today, she knows that,
that promises you made were just sweet nothings....
you found a gal right after you dumped the dumb her....
hahahs.. best joke isnt it?
yet even if she knows,
she doesnt stand a chance anymore,
she knows you will not return to her side anymore,
she knows you will always find another gal, again...
she knows she's foolish, silly, dumb, stupid,
but yet,
she still cant help it..
to fall for you...
you repeatedly asked her,
whether she is serious about that day,
whether she is really okay with that idea,
but have you give it a thought,
why did she agreed??
It's because she loves you,
and you are much more important than herself,
and she doesnt want to see you being disappointed.
you said you wont force her, if she doesnt want,
you hinted you do like her,
and so...?
Honey...
maybe you havent experience true love...
i felt like my heart is torn into a thousand pieces when....
you dont mind that i am with a guy.. yet im not his gal....
and it is you who intro him to me...
even if im kissing him..?
even if im hugging him...?
even if im in his arms.....?
i felt like dying when you brought your gal to visit me...
i felt like killing her because of jealousy...
i felt like bursting into tears to see you and her being intimate.............
yet...
what can i do?
hahs. i know.
i can do nothing abt it, but wet my pillows with tears...
>>if your wife kisses another man,
will you still stay calm and take it like nothing happen?
>>if i see someone kisses you,
i will run in the opposite direction,
with tears rolling down my cheeks.......
cox i m jealous yet angry...
angry with myself for allowing her to have the chance to kiss you....
then will you?
will you feel sad, disgusted, anger or nothing,
if someone kisses me, in your face?
i doubt you will have any reaction...
since im nothing but a stupid gal who will always be there for you,
when you are bored or lonely..
that foolish gal is sick of waiting,
and tired of your empty promises...
she wants to start a new life without you.
she wants to be loved by someone,
she wants to love someone with all her heart...
she wants to get rid of you from her heart,
her mind,
her love life...
though she will still keep you in her memories, contact, and past..............
she broke her promise to you though...
she promised you;
'Never to cry for you...'
yet, she is still crying when typing this post....
if she could blame you for everything,
all the hurtful feelings she had,
all the sad moments she bit her lips, and moved forward...
all the heart-breaking empty promises you made,
one after another.......
you taught me, what love is like...
you taught me, how to love someone with all your heart...
you taught me, how it is like to be loved...
you taught me, there are times when nothing matters anymore,
when i have you by my side,
to protect me,
with those strong arms around me,
who is sound asleep....
you taught me, there are moments when the world stops moving,
because you are kissing me....
you taught me, how a heartache truly feels like.
you taught me, how heart-breaking when you break your promises...
you taught me, howl loneliness can take control of your world,
without you next to me...
you taught me, how tears can be your best fren,
who visit you everytime i misses you...
now the last lesson i have learnt,
not to blindly love someone, ever again.
though love is blind......
Love,
Carin
(Guys, im sorry about this post being so depressing... But i mark this day as the day i have really grown up... :] )
Labels: Him...
Hey guys! I cut my hair!!!
Wakakaka~ IT IS SHORT!
I said ~byes byes~ to my long hair the other day.
And i dyed my short hair tooo~
Well, i like my current hairstyle, cox i look lively and more energetic.. [is it the way you spell it?? hmmm... aiya. who cares? xD]
Anyways, show you guys next time. havent have a chance to really take a picture of me and my new hairstyle.
Hmm...
Just now went to read all my old emails. And found a very interesting email, should say meaningful and nice.
Decided to show you guys. Maybe kinda lame la.
But i wanna make an announcement~~
I finally give up hope on Mr. L le!!
Hahahahhas. Cox i realise that no matter what happen, im not the one he will want to stay by his side. =]
看开就好吧. 应该说, 期望太久变失望, 失望过了头, 就不再抱着任何希望.
Dont talk too much crap le.
Here's the "real" post:
Find a guy,
who calls you beautiful instead of hot;
who calls you back when you hang up on him;
who will stay awake just to watch you sleep;
wait for the guy who kisses your forehead;
who wants to show you off to the world when you are in sweats;
who holds your hand in front of his friends;
wait for the one who is constantly reminding you of how much he cares about you and how lucky he is to have you;
wait for the one who turns to his friends and says,"
...that's her.";
Are you that lucky to meet such a guy?
I wish you luck. =D
Love,
Carin.
